Love that Lasts, Part 2

Here are a few impressions from last weekend's marriage conference, Love that Lasts. In this post, I will pull from the first part of Session 1: Why Communicate? 

Effective Communication Leads to Fellowship

1. Why communicate?

• For the Glory of God: 1 Cor 10:31, Gen 1:27
• It is not good to be Alone: Gen 2:18, Rom 12:5, Eph 4:16, Heb 3:13, Prov 18:1
• To become One: Gen 2:18-25
• To reflect Christ & the Church: Eph 5:32
• To serve the other: Eph 4:29
• To be conformed to the image of Christ: Rom 8:29, Eph 4:15

"Communication is not an end in itself. The goal of communication is fellowship... with God, our spouses, & others." 

"God's intention for marriage is companionship, intimacy, & growth in godliness for His glory."

"Just because someone communicates with ease does not mean that they are effective communicators." 

"If my marriage is not about something that is greater than me, it will end up being all about me." 

"When I speak to my wife in a sinful manner, I am presenting to our children & others a distorted view of Christ & His Church." 

"Pursue communication as a means of walking in the light, growing in godliness & helping your spouse to mature in Christ as you are becoming one." 

"Honesty has been used as an excuse for recklessness!"

One thing that really stuck out to me is asking my wife, "Joy, when I said ______, what did you hear? I need some objectivity in my life & I want to make sure what I am intending to communicate is really being communicated." 

Love That Lasts, pt. 1

Joy & I had the pleasure to attend a marriage seminar this weekend at the church we have been attending (Cornerstone Church of Knoxville) led by Gary & Betsy Ricucci, authors of Love that Lasts (click here for a link to the book). Joy's parents were so kind in coming up from Alabama to care for Brennan as we took some time to invest in our marriage. 

Let me begin by saying that I have not been a huge fan of marriage conferences. At marriage, Joy & I committed to continually invest in resources such as books, audio, & counseling. As well,  we said we would try to attend a marriage conference/seminar annually. 

Our first attempt at Marriage Conferences

Our first marriage conference was a disaster! If you think I am exaggerating, you're mistaken. I took the lead in registering for the conference, booking a romantic hotel, taking the weekend off from church duties, etc. I thought everything was in place. Well, it was except that we were let down in a major way. Long story short, it caused more arguments in our marriage than we could've imagined. We spent our first night in the hotel practically angry with one another; it stunk! I couldn't identify why everything was going so wrong. 

Well, after attending Love that Lasts, I realized I wasn't being too critical when I said that the other conference was terrible; it was! The reason it caused so much conflict is because it was viewing marriage strictly from a man-centered view rather than a God-centered view. It was practically 3 days of someone telling me how my behavior was wrong. But what they failed to do was address the main issue--my desire. My desire was for me... "What can I get out of this marriage? How come I do this? But what about me?" You get the point.

Thank God for something Different

Well, I must thank God that this time was a different story. I presume there are a few reasons why. First, I believe Joy & I are in a different place than previously... we are more open to serve one another but also we are not as surprised by one another's tendencies towards sin. God's graciousness towards us has allowed us to be more gracious with one another. Second, the content was so much more God-centered. I will expound on this next time I post, but there was such a huge difference between most other marriage resources we've used & Love that Lasts. 

Until next Time

So... I better get to work, but I want you to stay tuned as I post my notes & impressions from this weekend's conference. I know you will be blessed!

Unseen Stories

I have a friend I would like to help; I would also like your help (if you want to help). Allison White has become a dear friend to Joy & I. She works full-time at Camp Living Stones (www.camplivingstones.com). This summer she is traveling to Benin, Africa with an NGO called Unseen Stories, for the purpose of educating people throughout the entire country about child trafficking, the dangers, how to protect their children, etc. A full-length documentary is currently being developed for viewing in the U.S. The movie trailer & info on Unseen Stories is below. 

Joy & I have committed to helping her see this trip through by way of raising awareness, prayer, & financial support. How can you help? The most practical way to help is to purchase a ticket ($8) for a dinner she is hosting at Camp Living Stones on Thursday, April 30 at 6:00pm. That evening will be a wonderful time to hear more information about human trafficking & the work that exists in taking action against it. Plus, you will be able to meet Sarah & Jen, the founders of Unseen Stories, who are making the trip up for the dinner. Please let me know if you would like to purchase a ticket as your contribution helps make this trip possible. 

Unseen Stories exists to raise awareness of need and injustice in the world through the production of documentary films that inspire change by providing individuals with clear pathways to take action.

Unseen Stories goals are: 

• To tell the stories of trafficked children in Benin, raising both national and international awareness of this atrocity and those who are working to combat it.
  
• To mobilize individuals and groups within both the US and Benin to action by providing clear pathways to become involved.
  
• To help catalyze sustainable change in the country of Benin by aiding in bringing an end to child trafficking.

Feel free to link to this site. Thanks!

Resurrection Injection

My friend Gil sent me this link. Put your seatbelt on, it is powerful!


Elevation Church Easter Opener from Elevation Church on Vimeo.

Marriage & Men: Mark Driscoll

I am so thankful for someone speaking so forthright to men. I receive the rebuke by Pastor Mark & ask that you do your family the favor by watching this video & responding in repentance. Thanks Mike for pointing our group to this message. 

Rendered According Works, Romans 2:5-11

"He will render to each one according to his works: to those who by patience in well-doing seek for glory & honor & immortality, he will give eternal life; but for those who are self-seeking & do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, there will be wrath & fury." (2:6-8)

Exact retribution is the foundation for justice. And God will express his righteous judgment by this firm principle. 

But... is this always the case? Is Paul contradicting himself by his previous declaration that salvation is by faith alone? Then why is he bringing up judgment according to works? The answer to this must simply be that we are justified before God by faith, but we will all stand before God on a public occasion & be judged according to our works. John Stott clarifies, "The divine judgment, which is a process of sifting & separating, is going on secretly all the time, as people range themselves for or against Christ, but on the last day its results will be make public" (Romans, 84). 

Stott continues, "Such a public occasion, on which a public verdict will be given & a public sentence passed, will require public & verifiable evidence to support them. And the only public evidence available will be our works, what we have done & have been seen to do. The presence or absence of saving faith in our hearts will be disclosed by the presence or absence of good works of love in our lives" (Romans, 84). 

Doesn't that sound familiar? James 2:17 ff says, "Faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead...I will show you my faith by my works." Or, as Rich Mullins sung, "Faith without works is like a song you can't sing, it's about as useless as a screen door on a submarine." 

Based upon Romans 2:7-8, at judgment, there are only two groups of people. The first group are "those who by patience in well-doing seek for glory & honor & immortality, he will give eternal life." These are people who prove their faith by seeking God-centeredness; they persevere in life by faith. The second group are "self-seeking (selfishness, selfish ambition) & do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness." As Stott succinctly stated, "those who are infatuated with themselves, & engrossed in self-centered goals, inevitably reject the truth & follow evil" (Romans, 84). 

Application:

We must all take inventory. I am quickly sobered by this reading as I consider my life. If I claim that my life is centered upon faith in God yet my actions prove otherwise, I may be fooling myself. If you were to sit down & list your goals, I wonder how many of them would be self-seeking, selfish ambition goals? What do you treasure most? It is money/wealth, success & recognition, power/control? If so, your actions (my actions) may be indicative that your faith is not in Christ but in other things. Although you have a form of 'religion,' you may not be living in faith. Sometimes we must ask ourselves, "Is my life characterized by faith in the Son of God? Is Jesus my treasure?" 

I pray that God would speak to our hearts as we are honest before Him. My friends, justification is by faith in the atoning work of Christ... but our lives (good works) should display the gospel. 

God's Righteous Judgment, Romans 2:1-5

"Therefore you have no excuse, O man..." (2:1)

This is the 2nd time Paul uses this word in Romans -- (αναπολογητος [anapologetos] w/0 excuse, w/o legal defense, unanswered). In Romans 1:20, Paul uses it to declare that all people are held accountable to God's general revelation. Stott said, "Through general revelation people can know God's power, deity, & glory (not his saving grace through Christ), & that this knowledge is enough not to save them but rather to condemn them, because they do not live up to it." In other words, through God's creation or created things, we should acknowledge God & honor Him as such with our lives. That is why it is so important for the Christian to be involved in missions. Because God would use us to inform unreached people about God's special revelation -- that Jesus Christ came to save sinners & He Himself is propitiation/atonement for sins. 

Yet, Paul uses this word again in 2:1 for "every one of you who judges." Let me share a few insights from Stott's commentary: 

• We possess a "tendency to be critical of everybody except ourselves" (82). 
• "We work ourselves up into a state of self-righteous indignation over the disgraceful behavior of other people, while the very same behavior seems not nearly so serious when it is ours rather than theirs."
• Thomas Hobbes wrote of people who "are forced to keep themselves in their own favor by observing the imperfections of other men."
• "This is not a call either to suspend our critical faculties or to renounce all criticism & rebuke of others as illegitimate; it is rather a prohibition of standing in judgment of other people & condemning them (which as human beings we have no right to do), especially when we fail to condemn ourselves. For this is the hypocrisy of the double standard, a high standard for other people & a comfortable low one for ourselves."

It is a powerful rebuke to us all. Paul warns 2 different groups of people: 

• Group 1 (Romans 1:18-32) -- these are people who do things they know to be wrong & give approval to those who do the same. 
• Group 2 (Romans 2) -- these people do what they know to be wrong & condemn others who do them. This is hypocrisy.

"... not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?" (2:4)

Paul rebukes the appeal of the Romans as they "presume on the riches of his kindness & forbearance & patience." Paul is pointing out that they cannot use their theological arguments to support their lifestyle of sin. The word he uses is καταφρονεις [katafronice], meaning "to presume, to look down upon, to despise, to think lightly, to have the wrong idea about someone." The Romans were entertaining wrong ideas about God's goodness. We do the same when we rationalize our sinful behavior by saying, "God will forgive me." You may be right, He may have & may will forgive you, but God's kindness & character is supposed to lead you to repentance not a license to keep on sinning. 

Conclusion

Possibly the wisest thing we can do in response to this passage is to repent. We should ask God to help us turn from sin & to worship Him. May we refuse to think lightly of His grace & kindness & understand that his kindness is supposed to lead us to Him. 

This is where I work

I love to see where people work. When I do, I feel like I am able to know them better & to understand their personality & interests more fully. So... I thought I would share a few pics of where I work with you. We have two business, Ben Finch Photography & The Visible Group. Well, this is the home of both businesses. We are located at 208 N. Jackson St., Athens, TN. We are so fortunate to have our space in a national historic building called the Samuel Cleage House, built in 1836. It is really cool. Stop by sometime!

So... take a minute to shoot a pic of your workplace & email them to me at ben@thevisiblegroup.net. From there, I may have to post some of the pics at a later date. It would be a lot of fun. 

Interview with Matt Chandler: Video

I watched this interview today & was really encouraged. Enjoy!