Keeping up with the "Calvinists"

I am using the title to reflect an issue in my life that God has pointed out as an area of pride & sin. Before I explain, I feel the necessity to clarify--I have nothing against the Calvinists; in fact, I am very reformed in my theology. I simply chose to use that title because most of the blogs I follow are written by reformed men & women. And, I thought it might grab your attention. Did it work?

My explanation: Blogging has been a great sense of encouragement & growth for me personally. I love how it challenges me to be disciplined in my study of Scripture & how it forces me to put into words many thoughts that I am thinking. Plus, I like to blog to help others & offer resources & insights that may build others up in faith. Last, it helps some family & friends keep up with my life.

But, I must admit that I sometimes feel an unspoken (unwritten until now) desire to keep up with the heroes of the blogger world. Instead of keeping up with the “Joneses,” I am trying to keep up with the “Calvinists.” Often, I venture to others’ sites that everyone is reading & I think to myself, “Hmmm…how come people don’t comment on my posts like they do everyone else, do I not have good things to say?” Or, “if I am going to be a successful blogger, I am going to have to memorize the works of Edwards, Luther, Calvin, Spurgeon, Piper, Keller, on & on & on...” In essence, I am not content in what I have…I am trying to get the bigger/better/popular/premium status among my peers. I imagine it is like the guy who looks at porn & becomes discontent with the beautiful wife God has gifted him to lead—he has spent way too much time fantasizing about what he doesn’t have that he doesn’t realize the irreplaceable worth of what he does have.

Sometimes I imagine God saying, “The Cross is enough, Ben. You don’t have to find your identity in anything other than Me. Stop trying to impress me, I want you to know me.”

As if God would be impressed by my abilities, or, as if He weren’t enough or that Scripture weren’t enough. For me, sometimes I can find every reason to read everybody else rather than the Bible. I tend to love my time in Scripture until I realize that somebody came out with a book that I “must” read. I find myself occasionally supplementing biographies & theology with the Bible…rather than vice-versa.

I suppose we all deal with these types of issues in one matter or another. Your lust might be fantasy or approval or power or knowledge or success or whatever. I am uncertain what it is for you…but I am sure that the Lord would say, “My grace is sufficient for you.”

With that said, I must conclude that I thank God for those who spur me on by the wisdom & resources offered on their blogs. I am challenged by these men & women…I thank God for your role in my life. But, I cannot let it cheapen the value of what I do have. Their counsel & wisdom must supplement what Christ has already said to me in His word. Then, & only then, will the priority be in the right order.